Friday 29 July 2016

The World of Messrs Foster and Green

So the British judicial system in the form of Mr Justice Foskett has spoken.  Sense has prevailed and Mr Corbyn will be allowed to defend his position as leader of the Labour Party in the forthcoming ballot.  There will be no coronation of Citizen Smith, in the absence of a challenger. Tory rules will not be followed.

Of course there was never any doubt about the outcome because we do after all have the best judicial system in the World.  

Actually just about everything about that last sentence is absolute bollocks.  There was always a chance that a judge asked to rule on a matter such as this might take it upon himself to rule differently.  The minds of our judges are indeed labyrinthine and their decisions are not for us mere mortals to understand.  Fortunately in this case the judge in question seems to be aware of a land outside the Inns of Court and moreover to inhabit the twenty-first century rather than the nineteenth. I have read the judgement in full and indeed understood most of it.  It seems fair and evenhanded and even though I am happy with his conclusions I can see that Mr Justice Foskett has used his not inconsiderable intellect to weigh up the matter carefully.  If he had decided otherwise and had demonstrated a similar degree of rigour I would like to think I would have accepted his judgement in the same spirit.

I bet I wouldn't have though.

The other testicular matter is the idea that we have the best judicial system in the world.  It is the sort of jingoistic claim made by Iowan farmers who have never left Iowa, that the USA is the greatest nation on Earth.  It is generally a claim made in profound ignorance by those who have precisely no knowledge of that of which they speak.  Precious few in this country have the faintest glimmering of how the judicial system works here.  Even fewer have any idea how the judicial system in say Germany works never mind that in The Philippines or Japan.  Neither do I, yet this does not stop many in our society stating quite baldly that we have the best justice system in the world. Bar none. No question about it.  After all we invented it didn't we?

When I was a child our education system seemed geared towards making us feel immensely grateful that we had been born British rather than French or Italian or, heaven forfend, German. Most of the map of the World was coloured red showing the extent of 'The Empire Upon Which The Sun Was Rapidly Setting' and we had just won the second great war in a row. Rule Britannia!

I rather hope that we have grown up a bit since then, although reading the headlines in certain newspapers does make me wonder. I don't buy them by the way but the BBC does a rather nice resumé of the next day's front pages on the News Channel at about half ten of an evening which saves me the bother. 

Obviously as a Corbyn supporter I am both pleased and relieved at today's results but something else has made me both simultaneously very happy and also slightly sad.

I am immensely pleased that Sir David, The Hon. Mr Justice Foskett, not to be confused with Professor David Foskett who is Head of the London School of Hospitality and Tourism, who might have laid on a good spread afterwards but who is singularly unqualified to judge on this matter although he might have a role to play on Masterchef, I am immensely pleased that Mr Justice Foskett chose to award costs to the defendants, The Labour Party and Mr Corbyn, which means that Mrs Green and I as members won't be forking out and the nice Mr Foster will be faced with a hefty bill, because as we know, lawyers don't come cheap and two of those involved were QCs a particularly expensive kind of barrister available only to the seriously rich.  What simultaneously makes me sad is that none of this money need have been spent in this way.  The lawyers will undoubtedly not mind, but if Mr Foster really were a socialist and not a nasty ex-theatrical agent with a reputation for getting his own way, he might have better used it by donating it to a food bank, say or a women's refuge.  I suppose it's vanity litigation, available to those who can afford it, just like vanity publishing. In neither case is success assured.

On a different matter I note that Sir Philip Green seems hell bent on becoming an admiral. He owns four yachts of different sizes and I wonder whether he has plans to put himself forward as a privatised Trident replacement.  It would chime in well with the present government's views on using private firms to provide public services. Stick a couple of missiles on each of them and send them off round the world. And more importantly if they get attacked, nobody is going to miss Sir Philip anyway. 

How about: Death and Destruction, brought to you you by Arcadia.

Not SI VIS PACEM, PARA BELLUM but ET IN ARCADIA EGO or roughly translated 'I am in every arcade.'  

If you buy your clothes from Burtons or Topshop or Miss Selfridge or Dorothy Perkins or Outfit or Evans or Topman or Wallis you too are in Arcadia, and helping Sir Philip or Uncle Phil as I like to think of him, put down the deposit on his next boat, which I understand will be an aircraft carrier so he can use his Gulfstream G6 without the inconvenience of having to set foot on dry land and mix with the hoi polloi because he doesn't like the way they look at him.  

If Arcadia makes a move for G4S be very, very afraid.

Love Tim xx  


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