McCarthy stalks this land: Part one.

It seems to be fact that the ghost of Senator Joseph McCarthy, after whom an -ism was named, is wandering about our blighted political landscape smelling faintly of sulphur (sulfur?-he was American) and bad eggs and whispering in politicians ears.

'Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?'

'Dunno guv, might have been in the sixties, but I just can't remember.  You know how it is.'

'Are you now or have you ever been a supporter of the NHS?'

'Ah now that one's easier.  Yep, I definitely support the good old NHS.'

'Are you now or have you ever been a member of a trades union?'

'I was in NALGO in the seventies, does that count?  I wasn't what you would call active.  I mean I wasn't all that active in any sense in the seventies, but I definitely remember paying my subs.'

'Do you, or have you ever supported the rights of the worker?'

'Come again?'

'Are you in favour of workers' rights?'

'What like paid holiday and overtime rates and minimum wage?'

'Yes.'

'Well, yes, I suppose i do support them.  I mean I don't go about shouting about them or starting protest marches but in general I think they are a good idea.'

'So you are in favour of them?'

'Well if you put it like that then yes.'

'Do you believe in state ownership of services and the means of production?'

'Um, yes maybe, but then again, maybe not.  Railways definitely, power stations maybe.  Oh just put me down as a 'don't know'.'

'Thank you Mr Green.  After considering your answers we have determined that you are a dangerous communist and a threat to national security.’

‘You what?’

‘You heard.  You are now classified as a dangerous communist and as such you will be prevented from doing just about everything.  You are officially a leftie.’

‘Well thank you kind sir, I had no idea.  I will now go away and mend my ways and never think those thoughts again.’